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I am a firm believer that forgiveness is not so much for the forgiven, but for the forgiver. I am sure that I am not alone in that throughout my life I have been hurt by others. I can honestly say that through consciousness, I have made the decision to forgive all who have hurt me - in one way or another. With work and many years of effort... I had finally reached a place of peace and contentment in my life. A sense of freedom within my soul.
I believe that holding on to bitterness is liken to drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. (to borrow from one of my favorite quotes) It was truly liberating to be free of the bitterness. And until recently, I had the pleasure of living my life in a way that allowed my heart to sing.
I now find myself back in a position I was in many years ago. Hurt at the hands of another. And now it is in my hands to release the hurt. Easier said than done isn't it? I am not proud to admit that reluctance of forgiveness comes from the pain itself as well as the ego. It is never easy to forgive someone who misused your trust. Who deliberately hurt you.
Recently I was speaking to a friend of my Dad's who was speaking about this very topic to me. A past sermon on forgiveness that my Dad gave was exampled in the conversation. Though I will not betray the one who shared these wonderful words with me .... I will post a portion of the letter, relevant to this topic.
"One of your Dad's sermons many years ago was about that. He used a balloon as an example....so many times we say we forgive, but we hang onto that balloon and therefore all the hurt, anger and bitterness. What we need to do is let of of that balloon and let it float up to God...and any time we catch ourselves pulling back on that string, we need to remind ourselves to open our hand and let that balloon go. When we choose not to forgive (and hang onto the balloon) all that hurt, anger and bitterness lives within us and it is indeed like a poison in the way it effects our bodies and lives."
I share this because I found it very moving ... and oh how it sounds like Dad! I so wish I could let that balloon go! I so wish I could release the string from my clenched fingers!! From my clenched heart!!
I truly want to be selfish and release and forgive. For my own betterment. To enable myself to return to that place of peace and contentment.
I pray that with God's grace, time will allow me to reach that place once again.
If you are so moved ..... I ask that you join me in this prayer...
