A Mom Sees Herself Through The Eyes Of Her Children

I came across this story and it touched me so deeply. It brought tears to my eyes. I found it so loving, beautiful and powerful that I just needed to share it with you here.  Every woman deserves to feel beautiful. Every woman deserves to love her body. To hold her head high. To lift her face to the sun. To step out of the shadows. I invite you to be that woman!

This loving story was originally posted on http://bridgettetales.com

Flipping through the pictures on my phone, I see it.

My first reaction is shock. Who took this hideous picture of me?

Self-loathing and disgust swell up and threaten to bring me to tears.

Just as I am about to hit delete, my boy walks in the room.

“Do you know anything about this picture?” I ask him.

I turn the screen so he can see it. He smiles huge.

“I took that of you in Tahoe,” he says. “You looked so beautiful laying there. I couldn’t help it mom.”

“You need to ask me before using my phone to take pictures,” I say.

“I know,” he says. “But mom, seriously, look how pretty you look?”

I look at the picture again and try to see what he sees.

My daughter walks over and takes a look.

“That could be a postcard mom,” she says smiling. “Your so beautiful. I love it.”

I take a deep breath.

This is exactly what I needed.

My default mode is to see and focus on the flaws and imperfections. I’m starting to see a bit more.

I still see my dimply, fat thighs.

I also see a mom collapsed on the shore that just explored the lake for hours with her children.

I still see chubby arms.

I also see the arms of a mom that just helped her kids across the rocks and hot sand so their feet wouldn’t hurt.

I still see a fat woman wearing a black dress bathing suit to try to hide her weight issue.

I also see an adventurous mom that loves her children something fierce.

Like many women, I have struggled with my weight most of my life. It’s not something that will ever go away for me. I don’t have a naturally slim body. Never have.

Right now I’m the heaviest I’ve been in 10 years. Yet…

I have not let my weight stop me this time. I am wearing tank tops, sundresses and bathing suits in public. I’m running around playing with my kids this summer and I sometimes even feel attractive.

Yes. You heard me.

“I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty, and witty and bright.”

Well…not exactly. But something like that.

Is it because I’m getting older? Is it that I have more to worry about than just how I look? Or maybe it’s because my kids look at me with such adoring eyes.

Really, it doesn’t matter.

I don’t hate my body anymore.

That’s huge for me to admit and hard to even wrap my mind around.

I’m not giving up on exercising and getting healthy. Those are things I will continue to strive for because I want to be around awhile.

Right now though, I just want to love my body where it is. I want it to be OK to see myself the way my kids do.

Thank you kids.

Bullied News Anchor

This video was posted on a friend's Facebook page and after having watched it, I knew that it was a MUST share here on my blog!!  You will hear all about a bully who took it upon himself to inform this news anchor that she was overweight - and the eloquent way in which she responds to the bully.

Go girl!!

Paying It Forward

I am certain that many people are familiar with Karen Klein - the Upstate NY School Bus Monitor who was viciously bullied by the kids on her bus.  Karen was brutally bullied for being overweight.  The attack was merciless - to the point of bringing her to tears.  And beyond!

A video of this attack was released on Youtube and in a short amount of time it went viral!

(If you really need to see it, you can look it up.  I will not post that trash on my blog.)

If you've already seen the video, you know how heartbreaking it is to watch as this poor, sweet, elderly woman is being verbally gang-raped.  Frankly, it made me sick to my stomach to watch it.   I could see the pain in her eyes, the struggle to act as if it wasn't bothering her.  As the relentless shots kept coming.  I know what it is to try and let it not affect you.   At the end of the day, you are a human being and OF COURSE it affects you.  Despite that an unfortunate amount of people feel that fat people do not have feelings.

I have often said that fat is the acceptable prejudice.   You certainly could not walk down the street and make fun of someone's race.  You could not point at a disabled person and laugh.  But somehow, it is considered socially 'okay' to slaughter overweight people.  To publicly disgrace them, and turn the whole thing into a side show for your own humor.  Especially if you have friends with you.  An audience will inevitably make the attack worse.

Once the video had began it's circulation, a wonderful Toronto man who was troubled by what he saw, decided he would do the right thing.  To attempt to soothe Karen's crushed soul.   He started a website - a fundraising campaign to send Karen on a vacation.  The goal was $5,000.  And he allotted one month for the donations to come in.

Much to everyone's surprise and delight, the donations were pouring in at record rates.  By the time the video, and Karen's story had circulated world-wide, more than 32,000 people were moved to contribute to the fundraising campaign, which ultimately brought in a whopping total of $703,873.00!!!

A true testament to the Power Of Love.

Karen has since been moved to share the love, by paying the generosity forward.  She has started her own website  the Karen Klein Anti Bullying Foundation, which is hosted on the website GiveBack.org.

In school I was bullied.  I have been teased throughout my childhood and well into my adult life.  It actually amazes me that adults can at times be just as hurtful as children when it comes to bullying.  I am not sure why some people need to make someone else feel low in order for themselves to feel bigger.  To crush a person for the benefit of your own ego.

I think it is a beautiful and wonderful thing, that out of the ugliness of that day ... one man started an avalanche of love.  And in doing so, has passed the baton ... inspiring one woman, who in turn will take her story and try to create a nicer world for us all.

If you would like to explore Karen's site and join her campaign against bullying, just click on the link below.

Karen Klein Anti Bullying Foundation

A keen example of rising from the ashes.

Let's pray that a day will come when bullying no longer exists!!!

What a wonderful world it would be ~

Fat

I read something today about how people view being fat as the most awful thing that a person could be. This got me thinking. Those who know me, know that I have struggled with my weight for my entire life, and certainly, I am in no way going to attempt to glamorize being overweight. That said, IS being fat truly the most horrible thing a person could be?

What about a murderer? Or pedophile? Or an overall asshole?

It's interesting - when we see someone who we do not like - or sometimes, even people we don't even know ... the first thing we do is judge. How do we do this? Can we say - "That person looks like he has a bad personality!" ?? ... Can we say - "Can you believe that woman on the bus abandoned her children!!" ?? Certainly, unless we truly know a person ... all we have to go on is physical appearance. Body shape is often the first thing we attack. "She has a big ass!" ... "He is so short!" ... "She is FAT!"

It's also interesting how this is publicly acceptable ... I refer to it as the acceptable prejudice. Imagine for a moment if we were to walk into a room and say .. "Look at that Ch*nk!" ... or tell an immigrant to "Go back where you came from!" or make fun of someone in a wheelchair.

You would be publicly lynched! Looked down upon. Because society (rightfully so) views these actions as despicable, distasteful and unlawful. However, when you are driving in your car with your buddies and see a heavy woman at the corner waiting for the light to change - you roll down your window and scream out "HEY FATTY!!" or something equally as intellectual. Nobody says a word in defense. And often times this act of depravity will even garnish cheer from onlookers. How charming!

Why is this acceptable? Is it because overweight people don't have feelings? Is it because they are not human? Is it because they are an easy target? And what does this say about you???

Brings me in mind of a story. About twenty years ago - some friends and I were hanging out at my apartment. I was having an argument with a guy (who was in the process of becoming an ex). He wittingly calls me a "Fat Bitch!!!". I was mortified! Embarrassed! I looked around the room and all of the people. You could hear a pin drop! I inhaled deeply - looked to him and said.. "Yes, I AM Fat!" ... "Yes I AM a Bitch!". "Now lets do you!" And proceeded to list off all of his attributes: "You are a womanizer, an abuser, an addict, illiterate, uneducated......"

There are a few things I know for sure. I am God loving! I am a great friend! A great daughter! Mother! Sister! A great and kindhearted person who gives when I can, lives my life not hurting others. And Yes, I continue with my life-long weight struggle.

And I suppose that on that day many years ago ... despite the cowardly who still walk among us, I was reminded that there are worse things to be - than fat!